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A million years ago, boats were made of whatever crap the serfs and slaves hauled to the beach to “craft” the craft out of.

Yesterday, humanity discovered the perfect boat-building material and started making boats out of plastic.

Then, the marketing department discovered that most people buy boats for “romance,” which is a code word for you know what. Apparently, you need to put wood on the outside of the plastic boat to trigger “romance.” Apparently.

So now we have all these great plastic boats with annoying wood stuck on them. Usually people try to deal with the wood by converting it into plastic. They layer on epoxy, polyurethane, and other poly-stuff. But wood is a notoriously poor plastic substrate (even though it is essentially rayon).

So we let the Sonoran desert and the sun remove as much of the spatula-ed-on plastic from the token wooden “romance” fetish pieces, then we applied orange-based paint stripper and stripped the covering right off our romance. Now we’ll let the sun make our romance grey, as it should be. Here are the pictures: